ANNA CHAPARRO | INTERNAL FAMILY SYSTEMS PRACTITIONER
There is nothing wrong with you.
There are parts of you that are exhausted. Parts that are protecting something. Parts that learned, a long time ago, that certain ways of being were the safest way to survive.
That is not damage. That is intelligence. And underneath it, something is waiting to be witnessed and retrieved by you.
The Self
At the centre of this work is a radical proposition: that beneath all the noise, the reactivity, the protection and the pain, there is something in you that has never been damaged.
Internal Family Systems calls it the Self.
It is a little like the sun.
It is there. Even on the cloudiest day. Even when you cannot see it at all. You do not need to build it, earn it, or become worthy of it. It has always been there.
Within each of us there is a natural seat of consciousness. If we had always been met and held in the ways we needed, that seat would be readily and easily occupied by something steady, clear, and warm, the Self. Curious. Calm. Capable of holding everything.
Most of us have lost reliable access to it. Not because it left, but because life happened, and parts of us had to step forward to protect and manage what was hard. Those parts, over time, can crowd the sky until we forget the sun was ever there.
The work is not to force the clouds away. It is to turn towards them, slowly and with curiosity, allowing them to become less dense. These clouds belong, yet they need our help to become less dark and dense. The sun does not need to be created. It only needs to be uncovered.
You have been here before.
It arrives sometimes when you are walking through a forest and in a moment, without deciding to, you notice the sound of leaves beneath your feet, the light moving through the canopy, the different greens of moss that were there all along. The internal noise quiets. Something opens.
Or when you sit with another person and truly hear their story, and feel your heart expand with something that can only be called compassion.
Or when you lift your eyes to the night sky and feel, for a moment, both your smallness and your belonging.
That space, expansive, clear, deeply present, is what IFS calls the Self. It is not a state to achieve. It is what is already there when the noise settles.
In this work, that is the ground we stand on. And from that ground, we turn, with care rather than force, towards the parts of you that are still carrying weight.
These Parts Are Not the Problem
People often arrive hoping to get rid of certain parts of themselves. The anxiety. The inner critic. The part that works too hard, gives too much, tries to control everything in reach.
But those parts are not your problem. In a life where we had always been met with exactly what we needed, where the people around us showed up, and the hard things were held, those same parts would still exist. They would simply exist in their naturally beautiful, functional state.
The hardworking parts would help us dedicate ourselves to what matters, in a way that was balanced and alive. The caregiving parts would help us tend to the people we love, without losing ourselves in the process. The inner critic, that part we are so quick to want silenced, would be something closer to an inner compass. A clear, grounded, kind voice that says: what you are doing right now is not in alignment with who you are. Let’s change course.
We would not want to get rid of that voice. We would not want to get rid of any part of us.
These parts became extreme because they had to. Something happened. Something painful, something that required protection. And these parts stepped forward. They took on roles they were never meant to hold forever. They have been doing that work ever since, often for a very long time, sometimes for gernerations, without being asked what they need.
The work is to ask.
This Work Heals in Every Direction
Some of what our parts carry came from our own lives. Some of it was handed down, from parents, grandparents, ancestors we never met, our culture at large, burdens absorbed into the body and the nervous system and passed quietly through generations, often without anyone meaning to pass them on.
When we turn towards our own parts with curiosity and care, we change the quality of presence we bring to every relationship we are in. The conflicts that feel most intractable, often with the people we love most, are rarely two people truly meeting each other. They are two people’s protectors meeting. Underneath that, there are younger, more vulnerable parts on both sides, getting hurt in ways that echo older hurts.
This work heals at the personal level. At the relational level. And with intention, at the ancestral level, releasing burdens that were never ours to carry in the first place, and will not need to be passed on.
The change we want to see in the world begins in here.
Foundation
My practice is grounded in formal IFS training and deepened by years of facilitating at Aro Ha Wellness Retreat, one of the world’s leading wellness destinations, situated in the mountains of New Zealand’s South Island.
This context shapes my work: an understanding that genuine transformation requires space, pacing, and the kind of unhurried attention that honours each person’s capacity. I work with clients online, worldwide.
— Internal Family Systems (IFS) Practitioner
— Mindful self-compassion
— Somatic awareness & nervous system regulation
— Facilitator, Aro Ha Wellness Retreat, Queenstown, New Zealand
Spirituality often teaches us to love what is. To be present. To accept.
But loving what is includes loving what is actually present within you right now. This includes the parts that hurt, the parts that react, the parts that learned long ago that protecting you was their only job.
That love deserves to be turned inward.